Saturday, October 11, 2008.

dinner killed my happiness.

from the below and earlier post i was superber happy right?
yeah, after having dinner. i lost all my happiness.
why? read on.

i was preparing the table, (lol, sound like a SLAVVEEE), then sat down.
everybody gathered and started to call one another eat. ( our tradition.)
then, mom said,
"monday, no going out." with a normal voice,
so i was shocked and went.
"what?!?!?" *1/4 of the happiness gone.*
no reply.

then, ahma said.
"no going out tml."
3/4 of the happiness gone.

then, sis said.
"cause the maid is so stupid, and no one is home to see her."
everything all gone.

dinner table right?
i was STARVING, but then, i lost everything, and ate very very little.
and, it is dinner.
HOT food are there, so i felt very tempted to throw the hot soup at the wall, and my family.

but naturally, if i do. i am dead.
so i kept breathing out, puffing my cheeks.
to calm and distract myself.
and while eating, i thought...

why the hell does it bother me if the maid is stupid?
why the hell should i stay at home?
why the hell can't i go out on monday?

ALL MY PLANS!
ALL MY F-U-C-K-I-N-G-S PLAN TO F-U-C-K-I-N-G GO WILD WILD WET.

so in my mind, i was like.
"WTF!?!?!?! I CANNOT GO OUT, BECAUSE OF MY MAID? AM I SO INFERIOR THAT I CANNOT GO OUT?! CAUSE OF HERRRRR?!?!!? I AM PUT IN THE SAME LEVEL AS HER!?!?!?"
so anybody would get pissed off and etc right?

so the blowing out and puffing cheeks, seem the only way to calm and distract myself.
but nooooooo, that stupid older sister of mine, asked me what i was doing..
and i nearly flip my rice in her face.
MY SPOON WAS ALREADY READYYYY!!!

and so yes...
i don think i can go out on monday, because of my MAID.
and ahma is stupidly PISSED.
and i have to stay at home because it is a fucking holiday.

FUCKKKK!! MOTHER FUCKKKK!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!
and yes, i am pissed, truly pissed, i am already crying because i cannot do anything violent.
NOTHING VIOLENT.
AND I CANNOT GO OUT TOMORROW!!!
I WAS SO LOOKING FORWARD TO FUCKING MONDAY AND TML!
THEY DESTROYED EVERYTHINGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!
FUUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKZXZXZXXZZXXZXZXXZXZXZXZX!

p.s
NO XOXO FOR THIS POST. SCRAAAAMMMMMMMMMM!!!!

{ 7:34 PM }

narcissism.

her name is amanda laura age 15 going to 16, she is a tarot card reader , blessed with family and friends. :)

materialist.

I want this
good results,
for my prayers to be heard
friends and family smiling happily forever :)

i've got this
family,
friends,
myself,
god. :P

music.

radio.blog..club

width 158px

noise.

nonsense.

links here

memories.

January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009

thanks.

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