Thursday, October 9, 2008.

I have a big news to make.
I am selling my dollfie.
yes people, i am selling the little thing that cost me hundreds.
who does nothing but stand still, sit still in the position you made it.

why?
because, everybody in my family objects it.
plus, i have really gone over board.

mom just called me and scolded me.
stupid isn't it?
i will put up the post on tuesday night.
tuesday, the day we have the little mini photo shoot at francine's house?

some memories.
and marianne please, do not go ask me or scream at me why i am selling it.
why am i listening to my mom.
cause,
my family, is going through some financial problems.
ironic isn't it?

i am saying all this, and at the end of the fucking year, we are going to japan.
somehow, i don give a damn shit now.
why?

i hate it,
listening my grandmother complain to my mother when she come home about how stupid is the maid,
about how i didn't do my work,
about how i didn't do anything.

i am sick of it.
every time,
that look and the way she talks.
it is sickening.

there is so many irony in this family.
nobody likes to see ghost or hear them right?
you think i can control it?
you think i like it?

while you guys sleep, i hear things, see things.
you think i fucking like it?
every night, without fail, it takes me fucking one hour or more then i can sleep.

every night, i get disturbed, why the shit should i let you guys know?
oh, amanda, it is just a figment of your imagination.
oh, amanda, what can i do?
oh, amanda, i will call so and so.

during that funeral, you fucker's actually made use of me.
say things, how good is it.
but all your faces, ALL OF YOUR FACES, had that disgusted look.
if you didn't notice, i am just a fucking normal human being, with senses that are sharper then normal.

you all were so eager to hear what he say,
so eager, you all kept bugging me, then you say, don tell them.
i summarized it, and you all scold me.
you tell things to sis behind my back.
i had enough of this shit.

i am a fucking selfish person,
i have said that many times, do you all listen?
none of you fucking listens.

i am sick of this bullshit and show.
end it, i am sick of entertaining everybody, being their little puppet and let them pull the strings.

there are few reasons why i am selling my boy.
1) my family.
2) for him.

2- so that he can get a better owner where everybody accepts him, and well, so that he will be treasured and cherished by all. better then my family, no one likes him.
only me, so there is no point in keeping him, if this carries on.
one day, i will still sell him.
so might as well bring the date ahead.

and people, once you have read this.
please bear in mind,
i do not need your sympathy.
i do not need your condolences.
i do not need anything at all,
just be normal.
and, for the ghost thing,
don worry, i am already used to it. ^^

for me, this is just nothing but an event, an unfortunate event.
i should have predicted it anyways.
so yupp.
marianne, i am selling him for real.
i plan to settle everything, all in order.

if you asked me, have i ever liked or loved my doll.
i will say yes, but this is not the environment for him.
anyways~
thats it.
i am cool (chill) now, just go back to the normal routine,
got to do my art. ^^ cya guys tml.

p.s
one week, seven days, 168 hours, 10080 minutes, 604800 seconds,
game over.

{ 8:20 PM }

narcissism.

her name is amanda laura age 15 going to 16, she is a tarot card reader , blessed with family and friends. :)

materialist.

I want this
good results,
for my prayers to be heard
friends and family smiling happily forever :)

i've got this
family,
friends,
myself,
god. :P

music.

radio.blog..club

width 158px

noise.

nonsense.

links here

memories.

January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009

thanks.

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