Sunday, June 28, 2009.

This blog is gonna go for hiatus for awhile. (:

(hope I didn't spell it wrongly.)

due to sch, and some other reasons.
and.. well yeah.

and I'm sorry, it was an accident. truly.
I did not mean to slip and hurt you.
but since you refused to believe me and give me those looks.

so be it.

ahahhaa, and yeah.
and i am not liking this, cause I'm being stupid. literally.
despite me calling other people stupid all the time, I'm the stupid one myself. D:

sucks eh?

but what to do.
shall do some soul-searching? and do some major hardcore mugging. (:
after that, lets party!!!! xD

and sch is starting tml, woop-dee-do.
hope sch will shut down. :D
hahaha.
but than again, sch shut down means death and illness. D:
bad thing to hope for.

and yeah.
i have no idea what i am saying. but lets start getting ready for prelims people!

study our ass off!!!!! xD

hahaha, and something stupid for all. (:
let's see if ya can guess what is actually happening. no prizes though.
just for a little kill-time? it is kinda obvious. (:

Touching the mirror with shaking hands, a small whimper slipped from a trembling lip.

Tears flowed freely, words were spoken from a stranger behind, it sounded so distant and foreign.

The small shaking hand reached for the face, tracing along the line, more words of time left the man's mouth.

An unknown face stared back at her in the mirror, emotions welled up inside her aching body.

A lady clothed in white opened the door, she stared at the stranger and took a step back, shaking her head and muttering words beneath her breath.

The girl turned around and stared fiercely at the woman, who backed away in fear, head shaking in disbelief.

She now no longer felt scared, her emotions flared as her body went numb with anger.

Words and pictures spewed in her mind.

She brought her hand, pointing to the pale motionless body wearing her face on the bed.

Her lips pulled up at both corners into a grim smile,
'you murderer.'

yeah!!!!! hahahaha. :D yeah.
I know, ridiculous. but i kinda like it. hahahaha.
cookies and ice cream and lollipops to those who knows the so called plot? :D

yup. (: and it is now 11.11pm!
woohoo! make a wish!
(I wish i can- shit it is freakin 11.12.) ==

heck, anyhow, cya all in sch. (:
byeeeeeeee.

p.s
oh, and to my beloved toy dog. I ♥ you! :D

{ 10:51 PM }

Thursday, June 25, 2009.

I am ending my holidays writhing in pain and agony.

from what?
it is kinda easy to guess, the thing i hate most about a woman. ==
and it kills my appetite.

skip skip skip.

ughhh, the past few days were shitty.
I have been having so little sleep. D: I think i might faint from exhaustion.

going to malaysia was okay, sleeping with mama was okay too.
except that the air-con was literally crazy, it was so hot.
it would go on full blast for five minutes, than it will switch off, than it will on again, but it will be like, full blast to small to nothing.

than i switched off the air-con, switched on the fan and made the worse mistake i could.
opening the windows.
the mosquitoes flew in a swarm, i could not see, but there was a lot.

so while sleeping, my face arms and they even went into my blanket, i was being feasted on.
whereas my grandma was sleeping soundly cause she put those oil that mosquitoes would not come bite her, good thing too.

so i closed the windows, switched on the fan and the air-con.
and could not sleep till 4am and i woke up at 7am.

yesterday.

went to watch transformers!
it was awesome. :D
the action was thrilling, the story line was amazing, the actor was hilarious.
i was the only person laughing my ass off in the first part. D: nobody found it funny.
and yeah, go watch go watch. (:

but it ended at 12.45am. around there.
than i slept at 2, and woke up at 8. D:
it was horrendous.

and oh, i lost my contact in my left eye.
which was what i thought, but in the end it was just stuck onto the cabinet after my facial.
oh, facial was a killer, my period came this morning, when i was already in a shitty mood cause it was so early in the morning, i couldn't see, and my hair was like a lion's mane.

and reason being why facial was a killer why cause of my period.
she said it will make me even more sensitive?
dunno, but yeah. D:
not gonna go for tuition, wanna cancel tml's poa one too.

need to do lots of packing and homework.
i stupidly did the wrong set. ==
and also kept doing my tuition ones only. D:

ughhhhh..

bye people. enjoy the last of your holidays. (:

p.s
bvjfdkgdfgehw ed jvw.

{ 2:57 PM }

Friday, June 19, 2009.

Shitty day.

yea, title explains everything, today was a shitty day.

I woke up at frigging 7am with only 6 hours of sleep, just to go down to parkway parade to have facial, which was at 9.15am.
the treacherous journey ended and sis and i reached there at 9 o'clock.

and guess what?
the lady wasn't there. ==

sis called her but failed, she did not pick up.
so the next shop, some kind old lady saw us standing there waiting, with me cursing and swearing, sis on the phone with ahma, offered us to let us sit on her sofa while we wait for the lady.

so, we waited for an hour.
she was still not here. I took the number from sis, and spammed her with calls.
only at the third call did she answer, sounding sleepy.

and guess what?
today was not the appointment day.
it was tml, morning.

anyhow, called my grandma, and everybody was shocked because she said today would be alright.
turned out, she had to attend a funeral of her sister's father-in-law.
which she said it this way,
'er.. cannot ah. today i am off day.. cause right.................................
my sister father-in-law...... passed away. and today is the (she was thinking what to say.) thing! so i have to help my sister with the (again) thing.'

lie? who knows. i dunno, but all i know that i was really pissed off.
i woke up so darn early in the morning.
who would not be angry?
my sister. (who else?)

so while waiting for the bus, I said on coming to that area because it is near to east coast and we could go cycling, and saying to heck care about what our parents say.
than my sis had just add oil to the fire.
she said this with the fuck you and shut up tone and face.
' ya! curse some more! swear some more!'

which was bad, cause i nearly grabbed the back of her head, and rammed it into concrete ground.
but i didn't. thank god too.

so anyhow after that went to cut my hair,
wanted only side fringe, but guess what?
my sister convinced me with a few words of cutting short, and being extremely bored, i decided to cut it short.

and wendy, the hair dresser, said it is side fringe, just wait for it to grow long.
so now, it looks like bangs.
and i am not supposed to push it to the side even though it is side fringe.
like what the bloody shit, i asked for side fringe and you give me bangs and tell me to let it grow.

and my sis went all anal (?) on me.
what can i do?
so now, with my so called side fringe, it is now bangs.

and during tuition, i was so dead tired, even after having a lollipop.
i could not think.
and we were doing my worst topic, mensuration.
so i needed help for every single question, which was shitty.

ugh, i am getting more pissed as i type.
and i am sleepy,
and i cannot sleep in tml,
and i am exhausted,
and i still have my poa homework.

UGHHHHHH.

p.s
stranger's face.

{ 8:56 PM }

Thursday, June 18, 2009.

I am finally gonna post the pictures tonight.

yeah! rejoice all!!!!
hahahahhaaha.

and i am high today. :D

I woke up at bloody 8am and had POA tuition at 10 till 12.
than after that, i had Maths tuition at 2 to 6!
WOOHOOOOO!!!!

yeahhh!!!!

and thats it. (:

oh, just one more thing. er...
people seem to be thinking that bitch i mentioned in my last post?
yeah, she is fictional. like she does not exist.

and no it is not nobody for whoever's sake.

yeah. (:

p.s
fuck it, I am acting like a ______________________. (:

{ 7:50 PM }

Wednesday, June 17, 2009.

Misery.

I just realised something.
next week is the last week before school starts right?
and that means when school starts, means that prelims is hitting very close by.
which also means that is extremely bad, because i for one, have not brushed up on my extremely bad sciences.

which also includes that i am gonna end my so called holidays by apparently having tuition everyday.
and not forgetting studying my ass off for the creeping fear of prelims.

which is kinda scaring the shit out of me now, well not really, I'd be lying if i am saying i am not in denial.
which is bad, because if i am denial about the friggin prelims, i will fail it and don promote and go to Nitec or ITE.

not to insult those people in ITE but my family thinking that me going to ITE.
literally means the end of their second daughter career and life, which also bring me to It's The End.
despite that ITE is better now, my parents are dead set on me going anywhere even working but ITE.

so here i am, drinking some soothing soup for the throat, because almost everyone in the house is sick.
well not really, just me my sis, and more me and my sis. well, just more on my sis. she is coughing and polluting the air as we speak.
well, technically, me typing.

and also not forgetting that when i go to sch, quite a scary number of teachers and people will be going after me.

1) Mr F.
reason- for being so enthusiastic about me going to school during the first week of the holidays and ask him questions i don't know. which i did not do instead i went to the library to study, but did go to sch on Monday and few other days for history lesson with the attendance of 8 people.

2) Miss Au.
reason- for not being able to pass to her the thumb-drive on the last week of sch.
was supposed to pass it to her on Thursday but was absent.
and Friday, it was only registered in my mind when i was on the bus home.
even when i went back to sch on some days, to find her not sitting on her chair in front of her desk to pass her the thumb-drive, it is still in my wallet.
and for not going for training without even contacting her or calling her.
and for having such a poor irresponsible attiude towards the CCA.

3) Arielene and other people.
reason- for not posting up the pictures during the nationals which was months ago, because i am banned from using the computer. and making empty promises.

4) My mom.
reason- for being really enthu about studying like crazy during the holidays which i only managed to keep it up for two weeks and it dissolved like a piece of shining rock drowned in acid.
and for not completing the number of papers she had bought for me and me willingly agreed and not helping her sort out her receipts for her work.

5) Karma.
reason- for doing so many bad things, like lying, not studying, and not helping out. and also for making empty promises.

and thats it! i am sooooo looking forward for when school re-opens.
when Mrs. Regina Lee will greets us all bright and lovely, shouting into the microphone,
"Good Morning girls! It is good to be back, did you all enjoy your holidays?"
which we will all groan and reply with a dull no.

I wonder how does she do it, truly.

and yeah. i feel exhausted. but hey, i managed to rant it out of my system.
and i hope that tml i will be able to have maths tuition from 2-6.
to make it up for today that is.
sigh, really hope so.
if do, i will have some food to accompany along with me. (:

bye people. you still have exactly 11 days before school starts. (:
let us being the count down yeah?

and oh, to you, bitch.
don't vent your fucking little temper on me. (:
If you want to see your neck connected nicely to your body. (:

just a little warning. to you-know-who. (:

p.s
you friggin piece of shit. screw it all.
p.p.s
wow. wall of text!

{ 7:32 PM }

Tuesday, June 16, 2009.

Maths intensive tuition for 10 days consecutively.

ughhh, this sucks like cow dung.
i have to make my way down to bugis everyday from now on till the intensive thingy ends.
g-r-e-a-t-.

i lost my interest all in bugis already, and i am dying at boredom at home.
boredom= no book, and nothing else to do on the com.
and last night i studied my ass off for some reason.
i still have my sciences and humances homework left.

and it is now 2.41.
better get going soon. tuition starts at 4. D:
and the lift will be down at 3 and no way am i gonna walk down 22 levels.
no freakin' way.

anyhow, debra thanks for the... er.... advices?
dunno, but its okay.......? (:
thanks?
hahahahaha.dunno what to say.

and yeah. everyone have fun during the remaining of the hols!
try not to fall sick like me and don get H1N1 yeah?

shall do my homework and tuition POA work and the incoming tuition MATHS work during the rest of the hols.
and oh, brush up on my very bad sciences. :D

yeah, sounds good.
but wait, speaking of which, whats gonna happen for the class BBQ?

lols. kay. byeee. (:

p.s
darn, i can't do the heart on sis laptop. == damn.

{ 2:39 PM }

Monday, June 8, 2009.

Someone teach me. How to love my younger sister.

THIS IS SO MADDENING.

my grandma just scolded me nicely and i took it seriously about how i am not treating my younger sister nicely.
and yes, i know i am mean towards her, and yes, it is about her again, but she says that's not the point.

she says that i am not giving her enough attention towards her.

like take yesterday for example. she was playing by herself the entire day while everyone was busy on their own things.
yes i am guilty.
but how on earth do i give attention to her?
when i never fail to fight with her over the simplest thing?

How on earth can i play with her, and actually understand what she is trying to say, when i cannot stand her character?

how am i suppose to show love towards her?
how am i suppose to show that i do not hate her and want her to die so badly?

and she kept rolling her eyes when i was scolding her on table manners.
for whoever's sake! she rolled her eyes like, more than 20 times?!
I felt so badly to just... Oh, I don't know, gouge her eyes out?

like when my grandma was lecturing me nicely on it, she was giggling and laughing away.
isn't it rude?
I felt so badly to just... Oh, I don't know, punch her?

and also, I am VIOLENT.
a very violent person, cause i was brought up, the what? oh yes the hard way.
hard way= not talking, hitting slapping caning and blah blah.

so maybe i should go for, control your fist management, it might help.
or even better, go for both control your fist and anger managment!

who knows?

ugh, this is so frustrating.
anyone with little younger brother/sisters and really close with them, with BIG age difference like 9 years or more.
can you please kindly teach me how to play or actually talk without fighting with her?

drop a little tag on my cbox. PLEASE.


oh dear god, i feel so.... pissed.
ughhhhhhhhhhhh.

this sucks big time. ==

p.s
good god, now what?

{ 8:07 PM }

Saturday, June 6, 2009.

Flag day!!!!

it was awesome, and it was my first time!
so i was extremely excited but nervous.
but it was fine. (:

met many different kinds of people.
other students from other school and talked to them.
stingy rich people who will just die from reaching into their Prada, Gucci, Chanel bag for some loose change.
generous people who goes up to you and drop a number of coins and move on to the next and drop some more coins.
more generous people who donate 2 dollars, 5 dollars and 10 dollars.
parents with their children and taking out as many coins as they can and drop them into the tin.

it was fun. :D
cept for the time those people just ignore you and pretend you do not exist.
or those people who can actually just walk pass you without glancing at you.
or those people who actually run away when they spot you 10 feet away.
and yeah, other than that it was fun. (:

anyhow, did some reading today. (:
seems like the future ain't looking good.
hahahhha.

not surprised though, i am actually kinda happy that i will have to go through such a stage which have yet to come.
and it is not surprising, since i have made up my mind on that.

though they are completely true in me having to change.
hahahaha.

anyhow, just felt like posting what i had up. (:
i did the 10 card twice and the three card once.
for those who find it taboo, i apologize, but yes, i do do such stuff that goes against religion.

and here it is.

The devil.
The tower.
The star.
The wheel.
Strength.
The hanged man.
Death.
The fool.
SWords 10.
Swords 9.


Swords 2.
Swords 1.
King of chalices.
Queen of chalices.
Wands 3.
Wands 2.
Wands 1.
Knight of chalices.
Chalices 8.
Chalices 7.


Pentacles 4.
Pentacles 3.
Pentacles 2.

lollipops for those who can guess what i had asked. :D (though i highly doubt anyone will actually find the meanings behind it.)

hahaha. nights all.

p.s
I ♥ my deck. (:

{ 8:11 PM }

Thursday, June 4, 2009.

I am unable to sleep.

even though I feel exhausted as though I ran 100km.

sigh. anyhow, I actually went to bed at 9.
and than some things happened here and there.
blah blah blah.

oh and thank you. (:
for helping me get rid of the nausea.

well, since I could not sleep.
I decided to do my SS homework I had actually planned to wake up early in the morning to do it.
but since insomnia is kicking in, might as well makes good use of the time.

and yeah. (:

okay, bye people. shall continue doing my work on sis laptop.

good night to all. and thank you joey. :D lols.

have fun everyone with your holidays.

p.s
bead one,
bead two,
bead three,
bead four,
bead five,
bead six,
bead seven,
bead eight,
bead nine,
bead ten.

{ 10:03 PM }

Wednesday, June 3, 2009.

Yes, I am posting again.

sigh. this SUCKS.
just had POA tuition.

and was kinda happy bout it.
than guess what? everything went hazy. ==
god knows why too.

anyhow, half way of doing my work.
I looked up, and my teacher was doodling on a piece of paper.
and I saw my name. it was like this.
'Amanda is very....'

I could not see the rest.

and than, I kept thinking it was a bad comment blah blah blah.
and I started to over-react by thinking alot of stupid stuff.
and than I lost my concentration, and could not help but ponder what on earth did she write.

D: this sucks.

ugh. anyhow. nights all.

shall go study like crazy tml. (:

p.s
english, maths, poa, combined humanties and sciences. YES.
let's do it! just do it! hahahahha!
p.p.s
on a side note, I am using my new planner! It is AWESOME! Glad I bought it. :D yayyyy!!!

{ 8:37 PM }

Ultra sound is friggin' cool!

ahahhaa. and yeah, it is damn cool la.
anyhow, did not go to sch. was too tired to wake up in the morning.
then went to the docs. :D

the ultra sound thing was damn cool la!!!
but the sad thing was, i was not wearing my specs. D:

so like when i realised i could see whats happening in my chest, i asked her to help me get my specs.
and than she was like, ' wait wait. i do the important part first.'

it was so cool la.
and the doc didn't help me get my specs at all. ==
and i kept talking and laughing during it. and she kept asking me to keep quiet.

but it is DAMN COOL LA!

ahhahaha. than after the thing was done i kept complaining to my mom that she did not help me get my specs at all. xD
hahahaha.
than had lunch, went to see my doc.

seems like instead of a tumour. there is a sics! or whatever it is called/spelt.
of.... 1.7cm long?
but it is unknown if it will go away blah blah blah.

so i have to check if it gets bigger blah blah blah.

anyhow, my mom called me weird cause i was so enthu about the whole thing.
and the both of us caught the flu. D:
we kept sneezing like crazy. D: sigh.

anyhow.
that's bout it. :D

wooohooo!!!!!

buaii. xoxo. (yuck. lols. bye.)

p.s
i must wear my specs the next time!

{ 4:31 PM }

Tuesday, June 2, 2009.

I bought a planner! ♥

it is really nice. (:
can't wait to use it. ahhaaha.

and how am i gonna ask dad... to pay me 30. D:
all the notes added up to that amount.
ah shit, he is gonna go nuts.

anyhow. byeee.

just came in to say these. :D

p.s
yes! get to leave sch early tml! and no sch on thurs! WOOHOO!

p.p.s
♥ to everybody out there!

{ 9:54 PM }

Monday, June 1, 2009.

My stupid younger sister.

yes, no surprise here.
majority of my problems in the house is my younger sister.
why?
god knows man.

yea sure, i pick on her.
why?
because she has no fucking manners.

and when i try to teach her, my mother or grandmother SCREAMS at me.
'Can't you talk to her nicely?!'
'Don't talk to her!'
'Leave her alone!'

fuck you all bitches.

I am not trying to like, strangle her, rip her corpse into pieces, and sell them as meat to other people.

I am trying to teach her,
1) how to speak properly.
2) manners.
3) table manners.
4) how to at least sit properly.
5) how to behave.
6) give some respect to my grandmother and mother and everyone else in the family.

and oh. what do i get?
I get names like, I am a useless sister, blah blah blah.

and i just fought with them.
how did it go? here it is.

nat-crying her ass out. AHMA!!! ER JIE DON WAN TO GIVE ME EAT HER CRISP CHOCOLATE! SHE IS A VERY RUDE AND SELFISH GIRL! SHE VERY RUDE TO ME!
me- Yes, exactly. I don selfish and rude, thats why i don wanna give you. And why should i give it to you anyways? You don even know how to ask properly.
nat- cries and says the same thing over and over.
me- ignores her.
nat- I am your younger sister you know! You are supposed to share it with me!
me- so what? big deal. why should i share with you?
nat- keeps quiet.
me- goes back to work.

and well it is kinda long, and mostly she kept making comments at me and saying that i am rude and selfish.
oh yes, i remember saying to her.
'this is exactly why i don wanna stay at home.'
this happened when my grandmother was cooking btw.

and when my grandmother came out, she wailed from the living room, to my grandmother who was at the computer area.

nat- says the same thing over and over.
grandmother- don eat it! don care!
me- types away at homework.
nat- cry and cry.
grandmother- why you don wanna give her!
me- WHY?! WHY?! Because she cannot even ask properly!
grandmother- ya! but you are not any better!
me- thats why! i am trying to teach her, and when i do. you and mother always say, leave her alone, don bother, don teach her! and than you all come and scold me!
grandmother- ya! nvm. don worry. i am gonna go home to pack my house and leave with nat! than you and your mother can suffer! i am already damn sian of seeing you! and when i leave, you can become Queen!
me- ME? BECOME QUEEN?! (i was already shouting at this point, and my grandmother didn't even bother to look at me.) HA! i become Queen for what? you think i am doing all these to gain the title of queen?! i couldn't care less about what title or status i hold! all i want to do, is to teach her how to talk properly.
grandmother- tries to cut in.

me- raise my voice louder. because she did not even ask properly! she did not ask, 'Er jie! can you please share with me a piece of your chocolate?!' did she say this?! NO! instead she says i never share with her, i am a rude and selfish person. and she cries. she screams and shouts at me. and you all come and scold me for no darn reason! because i am just trying to teach her manners!
grandmother- quiet for a while. than she speaks. but you can speak to her nicely what! you are like your father like that! don't know how to speak at all! it is in your genes.
blah blah blah.
me- he IS my father.

and thats it. (:

wow. sure is long eh? but i feel better already.
and since she is leaving later with nat. which at first did not want nat to follow her.
I am not gonna stay at home.

hell no, i am not gonna run away. ==
i am just gonna go to amk library to study.
at home there are too many distractions. and i have no self control. so yeah.

anyhow. bye all.

sorry for the wall of complains again.

p.s
crisp crunch, not crisp chocolate.
p.p.s
and yes, i am still gonna give it to her. sigh. FAIL.

{ 10:51 AM }